How Sweet IT Is...

So we brought up the conversation in Behavioral Medicine the other day... when do you have the TALK with your kids and how much should you disclose?

We started this topic after someone asked whether or not any of us had seen last week's Oprah. One of my classmates mentioned that Oprah had some doctor on the show that suggested you introduce "aids" to your children (approximately age 10) to help in self gratification and to deter them from the actual act. So wait a minute here? Are you telling me that instead of getting my 10 year old princess a Barbie for her birthday, I have to look forward to giving her a vibrator??? Oh hell no... not in my household. I'm 25 and I don't even want my mother giving me that for a gift.

So I went out and looked for information on the show. I had to find out if the above was true before I talk junk. Here's what I found...

The doctor that Oprah had on her "Having the Sex Talk With Kids" episode was Dr. Laura Berman. Doc says that waiting to talk to your kids about sex until 13 or 14 is too late. I agree but I hate that. My mother is a middle school teacher, more specifically a 6th grade teacher, and she has had more than one pregnant student. Kids are 11 or 12 in the 6th grade. So when should we have the talk? In 4th???? Kids are moving too quick these days. By the time I have kids, I may need to sit my offspring down at age 6 for this dreaded conversation. Geez!!! Having a heart palpitation right now....

I think back to my own TALK. I didn't get one. My mother had long before given me the don't-let-anyone-touch-you-inappropriately-talk, but we never had the what-if-I-wanna-be-touched- talk. LOL. What was sex??? How'd I learn? I had sex ed at school and the encyclopedias at home. All my mother told me was, "don't bring nothing in this house". I knew what that meant and the sheer thought of pregnancy and my mother's wrath kept me away from exploring for a long time. Although it worked for me, I am sure my talk will be more than this simple threat.

So back to the show... O brings on Amy, a Tennessee mother, who wants to have the talk with her 10 year old daughter, Jordan. Why now? Jordan is asking questions constantly. So... Dr. Berman tells Amy the main three topics to cover are the "male and female anatomy, the mechanics of making a baby...and becoming familiar and comfortable with your genitals". Say WHAT??? Doc goes on to say, "It's about soothing... It's not about sexual arousal and the sexual connotations that we put on it. It's just about normalizing it for them and setting the seeds that this is normal." Normal when you get out my house!!

Dr. Berman goes on to say that by the time a female child reaches high school you should talk about self gratification and the big O (not Oprah, lol). "You're teaching them about their own body and pleasuring themselves and taking the reins of their own sexuality so that they don't ever have to depend on any other teenage boy to do it for them," Dr. Berman says.

And the piece de resistance... Straight form Oprah's website "To teach your 15- or 16-year-old daughter the concept of pleasure, Dr. Berman recommends a product many mothers may not think of getting for their daughters—a clitoral vibrator". HOLD THE PRESSES!!!! So instead of a set of earrings and your driver's permit or license (what I got), girls around the world can look forward to receiving a "jumping bean" and batteries for their Sweet Sixteen. Have your child running round the house singing this!! LOL. Just joking!! Ok, all seriousness, how you feel about this one????