There has been a lot going on since the last time I wrote. I spent my last night in Boston with A1, talking and making plans for future get-togethers. She stayed with me the night, helped me drag my bags downstairs, caught a few of my tears as I cried goodbye and saw me off in my last taxi ride from 682 Massachusetts Ave to Logan Airport.
Everything after that was a rush up until August. My main goal between June and August was to complete my thesis. That was a headache within itself and then there were added personal issues on top of that. There is not enough space for me to go through all that stuff and honestly I don’t think I’d like to. Some things are just better left in the past. So I finished my thesis, graduated (HOORAY) and since then have been sitting at the house (SIGH). The first couple of weeks were great and then the insanity set in. I attempted to return to the blog then, but realized I had absolutely nothing to say. There was nothing to tell. My daily activities were wake up, feed myself, don’t spend any money, search for jobs, watch tv, wash and go back to bed. Oh yeah, and pray for a job.
Well thank goodness that time period is over. I return to work on Monday and I am ready. Bored and broke doesn’t look good on me.
Aight that’s a very light recap and now on to other things…
I realize that I am starting to want a little more out of life. For the most part whenever I considered the near future I thought about my career and financial stability. As far as love and family were concerned, “it’ll come in time” would be my response. I’m finding more and more that I want that time to be now. I want to be married or at least know that I’m with the one who is the one. Hell, who am I kidding? I’d settle for just a meaningful relationship with a man even if he isn’t the one. It can be difficult entering FB land to read all the posts of “happy with him”, “can’t get enough of him”, such and such “status now in a relationship, engaged or married”. I am beginnning to feel like the last kid picked for kickball. PICK ME, PICK ME (hand waving in the air)!!! I wanna change my little pitiful single status to something else.
Now of course I understand that what God has for me is for me and that he will deliver it in HIS own time. I also know that I must be content with the blessings that I have, which are many. I know this and understand. It’s still hard to fight back those desires of wanting more. In some way, shape or form I do believe everyone wants to be in a relationship. Of course we can all stand on our own. Even so, isn’t life just lovely when you have a significant other? Isn’t it nice having someone who genuinely cares about you and wants to make you happy. A FB friend of mine points out the feelings associated with not having a significant other: an empty apartment, less phone rings, cooking for one, and movies alone. Am I wrong for wanting this to change?
And so many will respond, “get out there and meet people”. I do and I’ve got enough “friends” to start a small country. I just wonder when and how a man decides that he wants to build on a friendship and why hasn’t anyone decided that they want to explore this option with me. What am I doing wrong? No I’m not bombarding any man with these thoughts of mine; that’s a sure way to get him to run. I do the normal... go out, have fun, converse and offer myself as a true and genuine friend. Where is the glitch? I mean recently I meet a guy. I think he is pretty cool. He’s got some nice things going for himself and I’d like to learn more. One day he seems interested and as the days continue, it seems as if his interest is fading. What da hell did I do?
We now return you to normal programming, already in session. Ok, I had to vent momentarily. What was I saying?? Awww yes… I must be content. I must be patient. I must remember it's not my time, but HIS. Keep on living and maybe one day God will decide it’s my turn to change my FB status. LOL. Now I must go pray for patience…
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