Pruritus

Itch is an irritation in the skin that elicits the urge to scratch. I have the urge to dig like Fido up here. I have been digging into my skin for a whole day now. Apparently my body is not happy with something in my environment.

You know how you notice changes but you dismiss them until they really become a problem. I noticed about a month ago that my body was becoming a little extra itchy. It was mainly my face and I really noticed it after a night on the town. Everyone was downloading pictures from the night and how lovely... my face had red spots all on it out the blue. Didn't leave the house with them but by midnight I was broken out. Didn't think much of it. I thought maybe it was a heat rash and kept on moving with my life. Since then and looking back, I realize that I have been scratching more and more. Last night was the climax. I started getting a little itchy around 6pm and it only got worse from there. Around 3am I woke up in a fury… the itch monster would not let me sleep. I ended up tearing up my house looking for antihistamines. My place looks like a small tornado came through. It was just my luck that I had removed my drugs from the normal spot I keep them in. It was a hunt. I started pulling stuff out and just throwing them to the side til I found something… anything.

I am finally pumped with drugs and to be honest… they aren’t helping. I still feel like a million critters are crawling over my body. Called the allergist and when is my appointment? Thursday!!! Really? I wanted to ask them WTF am I supposed to do until then. Every two seconds I am digging my claws in some area of my body. That’s not cute.

So what is the culprit? Dry skin? NO. I grease up EVERY morning. They say the most common causes are stress and anxiety. My life is not that hectic. I've been STRESSED before and it's usually my hair that acts up and not my skin. Next... allergic reaction?? I don't know. God forbid I'm wigging out because of the carpet or some other element within my daily routine. SIGH. Time to pray... Lord, please don't let me be allergic to some food that I REALLY love. Amen.

Praise HIM in my New Shoes

I was sitting around thinking about a conversation a potential mate and I had one evening. Fred, a theology graduate, told me I worshipped the things that I had. Worshipped how? I don’t boast about what I have? I don’t claim to have much, if we are talking material things. I have always claimed to have family, friends and love in abundance over everything else in my life. What are you talking about? Like most fashionable women, I love shoes. I had purchased two pairs within the span of a month and a half (considering I’m a girl… not bad at all). Fred shared with me that he thought my buying shoes was taking away from my duties and responsibilities in serving the Lord. Side note: Most of the pumps I buy are for Sunday morning!! Anyway… The time I spent buying my shoes could have been spent in the church. I had not reached his level of maturity, as if replacing my worn out black pumps signified childishness. At this moment, I knew that either I had failed at showcasing the real me or that Fred needed glasses because he couldn’t see. I also realized at this moment that Fred and I would not make it. Anyone who knows me knows that I place nothing in my life above God. Everything that I have is because of HIM. I have always been taught that if you seek first the kingdom of God, all things will be provided according to his will. This doesn’t necessary mean materialistic items and in some cases doesn’t at all; however I’d like to think my shoes are a gift from God. I’m being funny here, but serious at the same time. I gave my life over to God a long time ago and HE has been abundant in his blessings. Everything that I own, inside and out (including my shoes), is because of HIM and I’m thankful for it. Maybe God doesn’t mind my feet looking fly every now and then, especially in HIS house. :-)

What Would You Do???

Let's say you've married the love of your life. In front of God, your family and a licensed minister you make your vows to love and cherish FOREVER. Let's skip forward 3 or so years. Your spouse comes in the door and says that they need to tell you something. You feel the presence of a storm. Something is wrong. What is it? Your spouse tells you they've been unfaithful.

So the question is today, could you forgive them? More importantly, could you save your marriage?

I ran this question through my head this evening after being asked by one of my friends what I would do in this situation. I can easily state that I could forgive my spouse. I don't believe in harboring any resetment towards anyone. It's unhealthy. Could I stay... would I stay?

Honestly I don't know. I have always held on to the notion that I want to get married and stay married, period. My belief has always been that we can work through anything. I believe I could get over the hurt and the humilitiation. I've got to be honest though and say that I would be scared straight to go down that road again. I would be afraid of being hurt and with good reason, don't you think?

I don't have the answer here or one that is remotely close to it. Only thing I can imagine is needed is forgiveness, time, patience, honesty, commitment and lots and lots of PRAYER.

Lunch with Edna and Sarah

Life it never boring... this I know for sure. So EP (coworker/friend) and I leave the office to run a few errands and grab lunch while we are out (sorry SS and EA). We end up to Matthews in Tucker. They serve good soul food if you are looking. I cleaned my plate (nothing really new).

So EP suggests that we sit in the bay seats at the window. Ok, cool. We get to grubbing. A few minutes go by and we see an old man staring into the window and grinning at us. OH GOODNESS. I tell EP that he better keep it moving. He comes in, stops right in front of EP and smiles. “How you ladies doing?”, he asked. Here we go…

The old man ends up grabbing the chair by EP and having himself a seat. “Ya’ll look good… no matter how you put it. Ya'll in school. You look like you in school. I got kicked out of this place. Ya’ll come see me. Let me have your number. I get numbers. One of you can be on my right and the other on my left.” Granddaddy would not let us eat our food in peace. He kept looking at EP’s hips (which she has much of) and licking his lips. EP said she kept waiting on him to lean over and pinch her.

Thomas Jefferson III (that's what he claim) ended up sitting with us throughout the duration of our meal. He persisted that we give him our numbers and that he would take care of us. Free pool. Dinner. Lord knows what else!! Did I mention that Thomas graduated college in 1967. Thomas now you know we are too young for you. I guess you’re never to old for a little stirring. HA.

EP and I ended up changing our names to Edna and Sarah and writing our new numbers in Thomas’s phone book. I know the fellas are like that is wrong, but Thomas was persistent. We didn’t know what else to do. I don’t think Thomas had it all upstairs though. He kept repeating himself and would occasionally mumble something to himself. God bless him… on the real.

EP and I finished our food and decided it was time to go. Thomas had us boxed in. EP jumped up and slid by. I was in the corner. By the time I was out my seat, Thomas was up with arms open. “Give me a hug”. Dude don’t you know it’s flu season!!! LOL. So I ended up hugging an old man today.

This may not be that funny on screen but I tell you Thomas had us rolling in Matthews today. I haven’t been that entertained in weeks. I wish TJIII the best of luck and God’s blessings.

Desperate Times...

So did you hear about the 23 year old in Indianapolis??? Gregory Smith walked into an Advance Cash Store and pointed a gun at the clerk. Angie Montez, the clerk, begged Greg not to do “this” and said that she didn’t want to die. And what did Gregory do? What does he say? “I don’t want to do this either!”

So are you wondering why Greg was there. Times are hard and Greg and his 2 year old son were going to be put out on the street later that afternoon. Greg goes on to talk with the clerk telling her that he has been looking for a job for months. Angie talks with Greg and they end up crying and praying together. Greg took the bullet out of the gun, told Angie to stay in the bathroom for 20 minutes, took 20 dollars and left. Later on Greg turned himself in and returned the money.

This story got me. We all have the choice to do good or bad but I can’t help putting my feet in this man’s shoes for a moment. I’m not a parent, but I imagine I would do anything for mine. This young man was at then end of his rope and felt he didn’t have a choice. And they prayed together?!? Where are my tissues???

So what do you think about this? Economic times have been unbearable. I was unemployed this past summer and if it had not been for my mother, I’m not sure what I would be doing. People are starting to do things they would never do otherwise. I mean if I had a small child at home, no job, no money and was about to be kicked out of my home, I would probably do some crazy things. I don’t condone what Greg did but I can understand where he was coming from. I don’t think he is some ruthless criminal. He ended up only taking 20 bucks and never assaulted the clerk. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

So what now? Greg is being charged. I don’t think jail time is what this situation needs. This makes me ponder a frequently asked question, “Do you send a man to jail for stealing bread when he’s hungry?” What Greg needs is some community service, counseling and assistance in finding employment. Placing him in jail and his son in this system will probably only result in making him a REAL criminal.

Sandman Come Back...

I got tired of looking out into the darkness and decided to turn on my computer and blog.

I can't get back to sleep. I drove back to Atlanta this afternoon. I got back to the house, unpacked a few things, got washed up, and ran my mouth on the phone. When I got done I was so tired. Great... I can go to bed and get a good start on the work week. I went to sleep around 10:30. About 2 hours later I started tossing around the bed and now I'm up. SIGH. So much for being bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in the morning. My alarm is going to go off in just a few hours.

So it's starting to get a little chilly in the city. I could be attempting to cling on to the warm weather just a little longer, but it seems to be that it's too cold too early this year. Granted, it's not Boston weather, of which I am grateful, but it doesn't feel like GA weather to me.

Ok... I think I heard the Sandman sneak into the house. I'm going to go catch him before he runs off again. Wish me luck...

Peanut Changed Her Status to Patient

Hello stranger… I know that is exactly what you are thinking. It has been forever and a day since I have graced Peanut’s Pod. Some folks were wondering what happened to me… I’m still alive.

There has been a lot going on since the last time I wrote. I spent my last night in Boston with A1, talking and making plans for future get-togethers. She stayed with me the night, helped me drag my bags downstairs, caught a few of my tears as I cried goodbye and saw me off in my last taxi ride from 682 Massachusetts Ave to Logan Airport.

Everything after that was a rush up until August. My main goal between June and August was to complete my thesis. That was a headache within itself and then there were added personal issues on top of that. There is not enough space for me to go through all that stuff and honestly I don’t think I’d like to. Some things are just better left in the past. So I finished my thesis, graduated (HOORAY) and since then have been sitting at the house (SIGH). The first couple of weeks were great and then the insanity set in. I attempted to return to the blog then, but realized I had absolutely nothing to say. There was nothing to tell. My daily activities were wake up, feed myself, don’t spend any money, search for jobs, watch tv, wash and go back to bed. Oh yeah, and pray for a job.

Well thank goodness that time period is over. I return to work on Monday and I am ready. Bored and broke doesn’t look good on me.

Aight that’s a very light recap and now on to other things…

I realize that I am starting to want a little more out of life. For the most part whenever I considered the near future I thought about my career and financial stability. As far as love and family were concerned, “it’ll come in time” would be my response. I’m finding more and more that I want that time to be now. I want to be married or at least know that I’m with the one who is the one. Hell, who am I kidding? I’d settle for just a meaningful relationship with a man even if he isn’t the one. It can be difficult entering FB land to read all the posts of “happy with him”, “can’t get enough of him”, such and such “status now in a relationship, engaged or married”. I am beginnning to feel like the last kid picked for kickball. PICK ME, PICK ME (hand waving in the air)!!! I wanna change my little pitiful single status to something else.

Now of course I understand that what God has for me is for me and that he will deliver it in HIS own time. I also know that I must be content with the blessings that I have, which are many. I know this and understand. It’s still hard to fight back those desires of wanting more. In some way, shape or form I do believe everyone wants to be in a relationship. Of course we can all stand on our own. Even so, isn’t life just lovely when you have a significant other? Isn’t it nice having someone who genuinely cares about you and wants to make you happy. A FB friend of mine points out the feelings associated with not having a significant other: an empty apartment, less phone rings, cooking for one, and movies alone. Am I wrong for wanting this to change?

And so many will respond, “get out there and meet people”. I do and I’ve got enough “friends” to start a small country. I just wonder when and how a man decides that he wants to build on a friendship and why hasn’t anyone decided that they want to explore this option with me. What am I doing wrong? No I’m not bombarding any man with these thoughts of mine; that’s a sure way to get him to run. I do the normal... go out, have fun, converse and offer myself as a true and genuine friend. Where is the glitch? I mean recently I meet a guy. I think he is pretty cool. He’s got some nice things going for himself and I’d like to learn more. One day he seems interested and as the days continue, it seems as if his interest is fading. What da hell did I do?

We now return you to normal programming, already in session. Ok, I had to vent momentarily. What was I saying?? Awww yes… I must be content. I must be patient. I must remember it's not my time, but HIS. Keep on living and maybe one day God will decide it’s my turn to change my FB status. LOL. Now I must go pray for patience…