Missing Home and My Sanity

Tonight, after a long and exhausting week that doesn't seem like it's going to get any better... All I wanna do is sit with some of the people who know me best, with a glass of wine in my hand, and release. I imagine I'm going to be pretty damn strong when I leave Boston. My strength is being tested in every way and to be honest, right now... I don't wanna deal with any of it. Calm down all that are reading. I haven't lost my mind and I will do what is necessary. A girl is allowed to have difficult days.

New Digs

Real short post today... I did go look at the place and it works. There was one little thing that I wasn't entirely thrilled about. I won't tell right now. I'll send a pic as soon as I move in. It's going to be fine though. I got a plan.... Anyway. I'm going to try and get the paperwork signed before the week ends and I should be able to get my key on Monday. Whoooo hooo!!!

A Little Ray of Sunshine

In this crappy day, I have found a little ray of sunshine. I think I found a place to live. I am going to go look at it tomorrow. It's a house turned apartment like. There are two other students in the house; one below me and one above me. The girl who lives above me is also a graduate student at the school. The owner of the home was trying to explain to me that she has some reason that she goes to NY every couple of days; basically she is rarely there. I would share a bathroom with her. The guy downstairs is a new resident and will be spending most of his time at the hospital. His mother owns the house. All three of us share the kitchen and laundry facilities. One great thing about it, I have my own private entrance. I don't have to see anyone unless I'm hungry. In a perfect situation, I would have my own place. In this real situation, single housing near the school is entirely too expensive for the kind of money a graduate student has. So... you take what you can get. This actually is not bad at all. I just hope it looks worth a damn. Most everything around the school is pretty stylish so I'm not worried about that too much. We'll see. Oh.. and the place is furnished. I've got a futon, desk, and chest. Great!!! Oh and did I mention that it is 2 blocks from the school. 2 blocks!!! I could roll out my bed much closer to class time. Sooo excited. Really am getting tired of the running out the house a little before 7 to get to my 8:30 class. With that being said... time for me to get under the covers. I'm anxious to start a new day...

Fake It Until You Make It

Today has been one of the hardest days I've had in a LONG time. While moving here was difficult, I took it well. Today, I'm not taking some things all that well. I partially blame that damn psychopathology class. It has ended up cracking me like a raw egg and now I'm beginning to seep out my shell. Driving me absolutely crazy. I have been fighting back tears since I left the house this morning. By the time I was on my way back to the house this afternoon, I let a little slip. I was sitting waiting on the train. A little old black lady had apparenetly been watching me. She came over to me and simply put her hand on my thigh. She leaned over to me and said, "have faith. God will take care of you". Somebody must be looking out for me!

Enymes Lecture Is So Interesting....

I'm sitting in Biochem right now. I am so sleepy. The first hour my head swayed back and forth while I struggled to keep my eyes open. I decided that I should open up my laptop and do something to make it seem like I am paying attention. Most of the time when we learn something in Biochem that I have heard before, I doze off. If it's something new... I'm glued to the professor. I guess you can deduce that we aren't learning anything new today. There hasn't been much going on today. It's still pretty early in the day. I did manage to get a lot more stuff in my paper during my two hour break after physiology. I'm going to take an hr nap when I get to the house and then I'm going to close my paper before early evening approaches.

Heroes season premiere is tonight. There are certain shows in my life that I cannot live without. This is one. I make sure to schedule time in my day for these essential shows. On Thursday, Grey's Anatomy comes back. I'm so glad TV is getting better. There was a long period where there was NOTHING on television to watch. AIght, I'm going to see if I can concentrate real hard and listen to what my professor/advisor is talking about. Only 23 minutes left....

And How Did That Make You Feel...

I had high hopes that this week would start off differently than the last. I would be asleep now, getting my 3rd or 4th hour of sleep and wake up in a few hours anxious to get the week rolling. Not there I see. Instead I am just wrapping up an attempt at my psychopathology paper and will probably wake up in a few hours sour and irritated. DAMN! Maybe next week! I did get quite a bit done this weekend though and that is reason to smile. Back to the paper... The more I write this thing, the more my thoughts and perceptions change and the more lost I become. I think I have changed directions about 3 times. I probably could have been done if I would have picked my position and stuck to it. Not that easy!! Mental health is entirely too complex for me to be trying to pull it apart. I'm a hard science kind of girl. Give me some proof. There are too many unanswered questions in mental health. I realized after saying that I'm a hard-science-kind-of-girl, that many believe medicine isn't that concrete either. There is a enough proof of things to diagnose most problems in plain ole' medicine. That is just not the case with mental disorders. While I find it all very intriguing; I highly doubt you will find me on a couch trying to diagnose these type of illnesses, asking questions like, "and how does that make you feel?". Too complex for me!!! At any rate, I really don't know where my paper is going but I have to figure it out, clean it up and made it BADD before 8:30 am Tuesday. I have to do this and still keep up with everything else too. Ooooo... the stress!!! Not really... just the sleep deprivation. Going now... goodnight or should I say good morning?

Happy Birthday Lou

Today was L's 69th birthday. The phone rang ALL DAY long. She seemed to be thrilled even though she claimed it was just another day.

I rolled out of bed around 11am. I moved real slow too. I was so tired yesterday. As soon as I closed my laptop last night, it was over. I don't remember if I got my prayers out my mouth good. I apologized this morning to the Lord just in case last night's prayer was a little fuzzy. Back to this morning... I took a long shower, tweazed the brows, did all that girl stuff to make sure that I keep up my appearance. And then to the books I went. I did that until around something after 4 and then I decided to go with L to her daughter's house for her birthday dinner. I wasn't going to go, but was upset at the idea that I might spend the ENTIRE day behind closed doors. Plus... it's L's birthday!!! Let's go!!

We had a pretty good time at Sam's house. I stuffed my face of course. Hmmmm... nothing like fried chicken!!! They gave L's wet cards (I'll explain in a minute) and sang songs. So the wet card thing... L says she likes her cards to be wet; basically filled with money. One of her grandsons drew a bucket with water dripping out in his card. Funny. For the most part, L got what she asked for as her children have a little competition to see who will write the biggest check. I'll take one if ya'll willing and able!! Anyway... they sang quite a few songs for L. She's got a very vocal family and they all have really nice voices. Her son P is really talented and his voice... amazing. We talked for quite a bit. He plays the piano, sings, writes, the whole nine yards. We had a little thing going bout old music. Sam had the television on to one of those Comcast channels that plays music. He had no idea who he was challenging. I called every last one that came across the tube. He wasn't ready!!!

That was it. We've been back at the house for about 30 minutes now. I've changed into my comfy clothes and am about to call my editor to work some kinks out my Psychopathology paper.