Back At It

What the hell is going on in the United States?? Banks are crashing. First Washington Mutual failed last week and Wachovia crashed today. It has literally become a fight to get GAS. Gas people??? If gas goes away, how the hell are people supposed to get to work to make their living? My folks at home are sitting in line for more than an hour to get gas and folks are actually fighting at the pump. People see a gas trunk and stalk the thing to see if it's going to the station. Am I the only one that sees a problem here? Bush proposed his 700 mil bailout deal and Congress failed to pass it today. So now what? I'm starting to get nervous. When housing foreclosures ran through the roof, or course I felt bad about it and said we need to do something. When gas prices started soaring through the roof and it cost me a grip to go anywhere besides work, I was concerned. But now!!! I'm a nervous. I'm living off of loans of at the moment. I'm not as educated as I should be about these matters but I'm sure all these events continuing adding up is not going to make it any easier for me or trying-to-make-it folks out here in the world. It just seems like SO much is going on these days. We need some CHANGE!

Back to my small world... I was ghost a few days. Had to do some "house" cleaning. I think I'm back in the game now and ready to fight for at least another month. I might just need a few days every month to scream, vent and cry. Whatever the remedy is... I'll figure it out.

It has been raining since late Thursday night. I didn't move. I already don't like the walking and then you want me to go somewhere with the possibility that I might get my feet wet. No!! My mood would be so sour. So I stayed in all weekend and did the usual, studied. When I woke up this morning it was pouring. I rolled over and asked the Lord as usual to watch over my loved one, but to please cease the rain until I got to the trolley station. When I opened the door 30 minutes later. LORD JESUS, THANK YOU... the rain had calmed down. I realized that I needed to get some better rain gear right then. When class dismissed R and I went to Target. I got some rain boots. I'll be prepared on Wednesday when the rain is supposed to get started again. I got a few other things at Target too. Of course I wasn't supposed to but when R said she would take me home and thought it was the perfect opportunity to get a few things needed for my new place. I got a lamp and comforter for the cheap. TOO EXCITED. I could not leave them.

I'm thinking there was something else I thought about this morning that I wanted to talk about. OOOOOO... I remember now. I have a heightened sense of smell. Always have... I smell everything. So the addition of rain to some people on public transportation is just too much to bear. The bus smelled like garbage. I smelt chips, funk, dead fruit (LOL), a whole list of things. That's when you kindly stick you nose in the corner of whatever you are wearing. I wanted to ask if we could crack a window of something. All that funk was beginning to curl my hair!

Another thing and then I'll go. My group and I met with Dr. B this morning to get some feedback on our counseling techniques. I wasn't as nervous as I've been in the past and I did my thing without giving a second thought to the idea that Dr. B was over there with his pen and pad scrambling away critique notes about my delivery. In the end he said I did a good job and I think he believes I want to go into the field. He made a comment about his medical science students usually being horrible and I was like... Hey, I'm a medical science student dawg. Feels good to shock folks now and then! There are a few things I have to watch out for and I'll be sure to get those in check before the next mock doctor/patient session.

Ok... let me go. I've got a quiz on Friday, an exam on Monday and another exam on next Friday. It's crunch time ladies and gentleman. Ya'll have a good night or good morning (depending on when you are ready this) Muah!!!! (that's love)!

Missing Home and My Sanity

Tonight, after a long and exhausting week that doesn't seem like it's going to get any better... All I wanna do is sit with some of the people who know me best, with a glass of wine in my hand, and release. I imagine I'm going to be pretty damn strong when I leave Boston. My strength is being tested in every way and to be honest, right now... I don't wanna deal with any of it. Calm down all that are reading. I haven't lost my mind and I will do what is necessary. A girl is allowed to have difficult days.

New Digs

Real short post today... I did go look at the place and it works. There was one little thing that I wasn't entirely thrilled about. I won't tell right now. I'll send a pic as soon as I move in. It's going to be fine though. I got a plan.... Anyway. I'm going to try and get the paperwork signed before the week ends and I should be able to get my key on Monday. Whoooo hooo!!!

A Little Ray of Sunshine

In this crappy day, I have found a little ray of sunshine. I think I found a place to live. I am going to go look at it tomorrow. It's a house turned apartment like. There are two other students in the house; one below me and one above me. The girl who lives above me is also a graduate student at the school. The owner of the home was trying to explain to me that she has some reason that she goes to NY every couple of days; basically she is rarely there. I would share a bathroom with her. The guy downstairs is a new resident and will be spending most of his time at the hospital. His mother owns the house. All three of us share the kitchen and laundry facilities. One great thing about it, I have my own private entrance. I don't have to see anyone unless I'm hungry. In a perfect situation, I would have my own place. In this real situation, single housing near the school is entirely too expensive for the kind of money a graduate student has. So... you take what you can get. This actually is not bad at all. I just hope it looks worth a damn. Most everything around the school is pretty stylish so I'm not worried about that too much. We'll see. Oh.. and the place is furnished. I've got a futon, desk, and chest. Great!!! Oh and did I mention that it is 2 blocks from the school. 2 blocks!!! I could roll out my bed much closer to class time. Sooo excited. Really am getting tired of the running out the house a little before 7 to get to my 8:30 class. With that being said... time for me to get under the covers. I'm anxious to start a new day...

Fake It Until You Make It

Today has been one of the hardest days I've had in a LONG time. While moving here was difficult, I took it well. Today, I'm not taking some things all that well. I partially blame that damn psychopathology class. It has ended up cracking me like a raw egg and now I'm beginning to seep out my shell. Driving me absolutely crazy. I have been fighting back tears since I left the house this morning. By the time I was on my way back to the house this afternoon, I let a little slip. I was sitting waiting on the train. A little old black lady had apparenetly been watching me. She came over to me and simply put her hand on my thigh. She leaned over to me and said, "have faith. God will take care of you". Somebody must be looking out for me!

Enymes Lecture Is So Interesting....

I'm sitting in Biochem right now. I am so sleepy. The first hour my head swayed back and forth while I struggled to keep my eyes open. I decided that I should open up my laptop and do something to make it seem like I am paying attention. Most of the time when we learn something in Biochem that I have heard before, I doze off. If it's something new... I'm glued to the professor. I guess you can deduce that we aren't learning anything new today. There hasn't been much going on today. It's still pretty early in the day. I did manage to get a lot more stuff in my paper during my two hour break after physiology. I'm going to take an hr nap when I get to the house and then I'm going to close my paper before early evening approaches.

Heroes season premiere is tonight. There are certain shows in my life that I cannot live without. This is one. I make sure to schedule time in my day for these essential shows. On Thursday, Grey's Anatomy comes back. I'm so glad TV is getting better. There was a long period where there was NOTHING on television to watch. AIght, I'm going to see if I can concentrate real hard and listen to what my professor/advisor is talking about. Only 23 minutes left....

And How Did That Make You Feel...

I had high hopes that this week would start off differently than the last. I would be asleep now, getting my 3rd or 4th hour of sleep and wake up in a few hours anxious to get the week rolling. Not there I see. Instead I am just wrapping up an attempt at my psychopathology paper and will probably wake up in a few hours sour and irritated. DAMN! Maybe next week! I did get quite a bit done this weekend though and that is reason to smile. Back to the paper... The more I write this thing, the more my thoughts and perceptions change and the more lost I become. I think I have changed directions about 3 times. I probably could have been done if I would have picked my position and stuck to it. Not that easy!! Mental health is entirely too complex for me to be trying to pull it apart. I'm a hard science kind of girl. Give me some proof. There are too many unanswered questions in mental health. I realized after saying that I'm a hard-science-kind-of-girl, that many believe medicine isn't that concrete either. There is a enough proof of things to diagnose most problems in plain ole' medicine. That is just not the case with mental disorders. While I find it all very intriguing; I highly doubt you will find me on a couch trying to diagnose these type of illnesses, asking questions like, "and how does that make you feel?". Too complex for me!!! At any rate, I really don't know where my paper is going but I have to figure it out, clean it up and made it BADD before 8:30 am Tuesday. I have to do this and still keep up with everything else too. Ooooo... the stress!!! Not really... just the sleep deprivation. Going now... goodnight or should I say good morning?