Shacking

My life must be getting a little boring because I haven't had anything to come and discuss on here. Well that actually isn't the case. Dating is going quite well for me but I try and keep most of that private. All I can say is... all is good.

So topic at hand: shacking. To shack or not to shack??

So for those of ya who don't know, shacking is when you move in with your significant other without the marriage certificate.

My family (both sides) frown heavily on what seems to be becoming a common relationship practice. As a matter of fact... the first thing my grandmother said to me when I said I was seeing someone was, "Don't Shack"! Should I mentioned that I've never done such and the comment was unwarranted. That's another conversation for another day. Moving on...

Some reference their conservative values and moral upbringing as the reasons why they don't shack. But here's some food for thought. You won't shack without a ring, but you will let him/her get it as often as they want without the ring. Hmmmm... seems we are conservative about some things and liberal about others.

Personally shacking isn't my style. I don't frown on it or judge those who choose this option. And I'm not saying I would never find myself in this situation. I realize that some choose this option for financial reasons. This would probably be the only reason I would give in.

But generally speaking I believe the shacking should come with the marriage. I want a man to make the commitment to marry me if he wants to roll over every night and milk the cow. Not saying he couldn't milk the cow while we have separate living quarters but having access like that demands a ring (for me). Did I mention that this commitment needs to be documented and legal?! If he isn't ready for that commitment than we should keep on dating.

What ya think?

Radar Alert... There's a Man in My Vicinity

There is a young, SCRUMPTIOUS man in my vicinity. We both are playing it super cool but I gotta tell ya I'm interested.

I tell ya though... A man in your area will make you get yo ish together. It's not like I didn't have my stuff in a good spot but right now I'm cranking the wheel. Ladies, keep up and keep it together. No down days of comfortable pants and a t-shirt. I need some kind of cuteness on EVERYDAY... at least until he falls madly in love. LOL. The hair stays done and a lil bit of makeup is always present. Eyebrows... not a stray strand. The house and car are clean and free of clutter. And my freezer is stocked in case I need to make dinner. LOL.

Aight... study this and I'll return. I'm at work and should probably do some.

FOOD...

I am sitting on my couch STARVING. Geez... why couldn't I have been one of those people who can eat anything and everything they want and not gain a pound. IT'S NOT FAIR. Ok, bear with me. I'm fighting through a craving. SIGH!!! These are the times I dream of every morsel of food I enjoy... chicken wings with blue cheese dressing (not ranch), crablegs, sushi (that's not too bad for me), lo mein, fried chicken, mac n cheese, crab casserole... LAWD, I could go on all night. Ok, time for prayer. I'm going to go open up my frig and choose between a Fuji apple, broccoli and edamame. Imagination kick in now...

To Fast or Not to Fast

I need to lose 10lbs. You ask why? I just need to and I need to make it happen fast.

I had planned to really restrict my eating and get down to some serious working out last week but then I had some visitors (loved the company, but plans went to hell).

I've already planned out all my meals for this week and am anxious to get things moving in the right direction. Having done this I am also considering a fast next week.

To fast or not to fast....

One of my girlfriends let me know that she just tried a fast and lost 10 lbs. She used to same one that an ex-coworker used last year. She went from plump to puny in a few months. Granted I don't plan on doing the extreme like my coworker, I am considering the fast for a week to get things moving a little bit more.

BUT A FAST?!?! I'm such a greedy thing (probably why I need to lose the weight). No food??? Are you kidding me? They advertise the fast as a detox programs... let's be real, its a quick fast fad diet. I am already craving everything under the sun with my restricted eating. Take away the solid food and I might just eat my hand. SIGH!! I've gotta think about this one a little longer!

Marriage Going Extinct???

Is the institution of marriage disappearing?? Some coworkers and I started off this conversation yesterday on whether or not to get a prenuptial agreement (rich or poor) before saying "I do". That's another post topic all by itself. Then we moved into the conversation we have heard at length recently... Today the number of black educated women far exceed that of educated black men; hence why many black women looking for black men are alone (that's what they say)!!

One coworker said that he doesn't believe one person should be with only one person. We weren't made for that. Well what about our grandparents and their parents, I asked. They married and stayed together. They were with one person; if I'm wrong, at least they did a good job of pretending they were. Times are different, he answers.

So the conversation continued. My other coworker has been with her boo for quite some time now. They bought a house together and have a child. They aren't married. Despite outside pressures, she doesn't feel the need to get married. Why get married some ask? You have everything you would have if you were legally bound but if would be much easier (so they say) to get out if it came to that. I kind of look at this the same way I look at prenups. It really doesn't say that I have much faith in my relationship and its ability to last. I know the divorce rates but I'm an overachiever and I hope to be against those numbers. I don't judge anyone who does differently (different strokes for different folks). If we are going to have the house, the kid and the perks we are going to add the paper to the list of things we have.

So is marriage important anymore? For me, yes. What about the rest of the population??? When I said I believed in marriage, it was like I was bombarded with comments of I don't understand how hard it is and I have to be realistic. Some how my thoughts on it are outdated and naive?

I think people are too quick to rush... to marry and then to divorce. I'm a hopeless romantic and currently going to therapy to fix this problem, LOL. I believe I will fall in love with someone and we will get married and that will be it. I'm not going to rush down the aisle because ITS TIME and my clock is winding down. If a relationship isn't working out during the trial period, I move on. There is no need hanging on to relationships in hopes of change. NO!!!! People hang on to these relationships and get married thinking some magical fairy is going to come down and make everything better. The chances of this are slim. When I do weed out the hopeless relationships, I will get married and as they say, THE END. No divorce. LOL. I'm joking some what here. I really don't wanna get divorced. Sometimes I realize this is inevitable. Sometimes it ain't gonna work no matter how you try. Despite my efforts, I may end up in a marriage that just isn't working!! I realize that marriage isn't going to be easy. They say nothing worth having is easily gained. Point taken. When problems arise (and they will) I hope my husband and I will be fighters; not with each other but together against divorce. So there is my cornball theory and I'm sticking with it. That may make me old fashioned but I embrace it fully!!

We Are Family...

I've only got a few more minutes left before Peanut Day (my birthday) is officially over. Everyone has made it back to their respective destinations and my house is starting to readjust to the silence.

Things were really nice this weekend. Of course I did the partying thing. I mean did you think that I wouldn't. While all that was great in its own respect, it wasn't the best part of the weekend. I remember at one point looking out into my clubhouse on Saturday and just smiling. While there were quite a few absent, some of my favorite people were in that room with me and all I could do was grin. That was the best gift...

We went out for breakfast Saturday morning and the server said, "Oh what a big family" and yes I thought (we are). My family is big and for the most part as always been pretty disconnected from one side to the other. My parents haven't been together in decades and meshing the two sides didn't always seem possible. I assumed that the only time I could get almost everyone together was for my wedding and funeral. Other than that... ummm no. For the first time we were almost all there and we got along. My Dad wasn't there but next time... this weekend was a great first step. Summer party anyone? LOL.

Aight time for me to cut it short because the more I type the more the emotion starts riding to the surface. Please don't let that be cranked up along with my new age. LOL. Moving forward in another year of life I just hope that my life continues to flourish in love, family and friends cuz they are ABSOLUTELY THE BEST.

Celebrating Another Year

I'm sleepy and will probably be until Tuesday night!! My birthday weekend celebrating begins TONIGHT. Whooo... I'm excited.

My brother and his friend are on the road now and should be here in 2-3 hrs. Whooppeee. Everybody else coming from out-of-town will trickle in tomorrow and Saturday morning. My folks love me... SMILE.

Now all I need to do is get my rug done on my head. I cannot look beat up this weekend. I've got a few more chores to take care of in the house too but I'll do that quickly this evening after dinner.

Alright... going back to my samples. I'm trying to get my work done and handle some business before Rock (my brother) gets here. If ya'll don't hear from me this weekend... enjoy yours!! I WILL!!!