Running On the Train...

There is always an adventure waiting to happen on MBTA (Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority). Today I visited the Charles River campus of BU because I knew there was a CVS pharmacy over there and I needed to pick up some meds.. I make my way over there, get my stuff and wait on the trolley to come pick me up. AS SOON AS I GET ON THE TROLLEY, this older white man (50s) says to me, "hello beauty". Aww how cute! I smile and am ready to move it to the back. I can't. PACKED. I end up right in front of Mister Compliments. He continues, "you have such beautiful features. Are you from the islands?" Ha. Folks kill me when they pull the "islands" question. Most of the time when people ask me something like that, it is because I have opened my mouth and they hear a little something. I hadn't said two words to this guy. I asked him why he would ask and he said my facial features were typical of island women. That's a new one on me. Ok. Whatever. I tell the man where I'm from (making light conversation, BIG MISTAKE). He goes on to tell me he is Russell from the UK. He sees the BUMS fleece I'm sporting and asks what my undergraduate major was. I answer and he quickly goes on to tell me two jokes. The first was about a pregnant typewriter; she missed a period. The second joke was about a physicist, but I don't recall it. By this time, I was trying to plan my escape. I didn't hear a word he said. By this time, other people on the trolley are beginning to find comic relief in my little situation. I looked over to one girl who stretched her eyes and motioned with her mouth, "RUN". I'm cracking up now, but at the time I was like what the hell is going on. WHY ME???? So Russell makes his move, "Tell me beautiful, have you ever dated outside of your race?" I quickly and coldly respond, "I'm seeing someone". "That does not matter. I have two girlfriends in the UK. We just cheat on each other all the time". That's refreshing to know. What makes you think that statement would enhance your chances of being with me? Just crazy. "I think we would make a colorful pair", he says. OH MY GOODNESS!!!! He keeps going, "What do I need to do to get your contact information? Does it help knowing that I've dated black women before?". Now I'm laughing hysterically along with about 10 other people surrounding me. We finally make it to the next stop. People are getting off!!! Hallelujah. I let Russell know it was nice to make his acquaintance and I squeeze my way to the middle of the trolley. I get a whole 30 seconds of relief and I hear Russell at the front, "Excuse me, excuse me. How about a proposition?". I look up and find the heavy set man squeezing himself through the crowd. Before I could say another word, a white guy (about my age) from the front of the bus follows Russell. He tells Russell that he thinks I've had enough and that it was a good effort, but to leave it alone. Russell ignores him at first but when the other guy repeats himself, Russell hushes. THANK YOU JESUS. I could have straddled the other boy at this point. THANK YOU!!!! I spend the rest of my trolley ride with Russell looking at me from the side. Where is my stop???

I get off the trolley and make my way for the subway. Isn't that a lot? Maybe it's just me. I get frustrated at the trolley, subway, bus routine trying to get somewhere. Oh well... The train comes and I am looking forward to sitting down and releasing. I get on and find a seat. I put in my earphones and am about to get in chill mode when I realize someone is looking at me. WHAT THE BLEEP???? Sitting to my left, is a gentleman staring SO HARD at me I think he's about to attack. Ok... avoid eye contact, move as soon as possible, lean over on kid on the right. I was going through all these thoughts on the train. Dude stared at me for a good 5 minutes until he mustered up his strength. He taps me on the leg. FIRST OF ALL... that's how people lose hands. DON'T TOUCH ME!!! "Ummmm, do you have the time?", he struggles to get out of his mouth. "Three-thirty". I turn back around. Five minutes later and here comes the play, "So, you got a man?". Why is that always one of the first things that comes out of men's mouths? Ok... let's say you really wanna talk to me. Plain ole conversation is how we get started. At this point on my ride home, I've had enough. I'm not going to be rude, but dude... NOT TODAY!!! I kindly tell him yes and that I am not interested. Homeboy stares me down for the remainder of the ride. He was with me the ENTIRE time. How fortunate am I? When I got off the subway and made my way to my last trolley, I talked to God for a minute, "Lord please. No more". I made it back to the house without anymore "hollas". This is two days in a row. I'm not getting on MBTA tomorrow. Just joking! I wish Sylvia (my car) was here.