Marriage Going Extinct???

Is the institution of marriage disappearing?? Some coworkers and I started off this conversation yesterday on whether or not to get a prenuptial agreement (rich or poor) before saying "I do". That's another post topic all by itself. Then we moved into the conversation we have heard at length recently... Today the number of black educated women far exceed that of educated black men; hence why many black women looking for black men are alone (that's what they say)!!

One coworker said that he doesn't believe one person should be with only one person. We weren't made for that. Well what about our grandparents and their parents, I asked. They married and stayed together. They were with one person; if I'm wrong, at least they did a good job of pretending they were. Times are different, he answers.

So the conversation continued. My other coworker has been with her boo for quite some time now. They bought a house together and have a child. They aren't married. Despite outside pressures, she doesn't feel the need to get married. Why get married some ask? You have everything you would have if you were legally bound but if would be much easier (so they say) to get out if it came to that. I kind of look at this the same way I look at prenups. It really doesn't say that I have much faith in my relationship and its ability to last. I know the divorce rates but I'm an overachiever and I hope to be against those numbers. I don't judge anyone who does differently (different strokes for different folks). If we are going to have the house, the kid and the perks we are going to add the paper to the list of things we have.

So is marriage important anymore? For me, yes. What about the rest of the population??? When I said I believed in marriage, it was like I was bombarded with comments of I don't understand how hard it is and I have to be realistic. Some how my thoughts on it are outdated and naive?

I think people are too quick to rush... to marry and then to divorce. I'm a hopeless romantic and currently going to therapy to fix this problem, LOL. I believe I will fall in love with someone and we will get married and that will be it. I'm not going to rush down the aisle because ITS TIME and my clock is winding down. If a relationship isn't working out during the trial period, I move on. There is no need hanging on to relationships in hopes of change. NO!!!! People hang on to these relationships and get married thinking some magical fairy is going to come down and make everything better. The chances of this are slim. When I do weed out the hopeless relationships, I will get married and as they say, THE END. No divorce. LOL. I'm joking some what here. I really don't wanna get divorced. Sometimes I realize this is inevitable. Sometimes it ain't gonna work no matter how you try. Despite my efforts, I may end up in a marriage that just isn't working!! I realize that marriage isn't going to be easy. They say nothing worth having is easily gained. Point taken. When problems arise (and they will) I hope my husband and I will be fighters; not with each other but together against divorce. So there is my cornball theory and I'm sticking with it. That may make me old fashioned but I embrace it fully!!

We Are Family...

I've only got a few more minutes left before Peanut Day (my birthday) is officially over. Everyone has made it back to their respective destinations and my house is starting to readjust to the silence.

Things were really nice this weekend. Of course I did the partying thing. I mean did you think that I wouldn't. While all that was great in its own respect, it wasn't the best part of the weekend. I remember at one point looking out into my clubhouse on Saturday and just smiling. While there were quite a few absent, some of my favorite people were in that room with me and all I could do was grin. That was the best gift...

We went out for breakfast Saturday morning and the server said, "Oh what a big family" and yes I thought (we are). My family is big and for the most part as always been pretty disconnected from one side to the other. My parents haven't been together in decades and meshing the two sides didn't always seem possible. I assumed that the only time I could get almost everyone together was for my wedding and funeral. Other than that... ummm no. For the first time we were almost all there and we got along. My Dad wasn't there but next time... this weekend was a great first step. Summer party anyone? LOL.

Aight time for me to cut it short because the more I type the more the emotion starts riding to the surface. Please don't let that be cranked up along with my new age. LOL. Moving forward in another year of life I just hope that my life continues to flourish in love, family and friends cuz they are ABSOLUTELY THE BEST.

Celebrating Another Year

I'm sleepy and will probably be until Tuesday night!! My birthday weekend celebrating begins TONIGHT. Whooo... I'm excited.

My brother and his friend are on the road now and should be here in 2-3 hrs. Whooppeee. Everybody else coming from out-of-town will trickle in tomorrow and Saturday morning. My folks love me... SMILE.

Now all I need to do is get my rug done on my head. I cannot look beat up this weekend. I've got a few more chores to take care of in the house too but I'll do that quickly this evening after dinner.

Alright... going back to my samples. I'm trying to get my work done and handle some business before Rock (my brother) gets here. If ya'll don't hear from me this weekend... enjoy yours!! I WILL!!!

Wrong Day To Lose My Stuff

I was struggling today. Either them snatching my hour this weekend has totally affected me or I've got some king of fatigue syndrome. LOL.

I was fighting the sandman so much I decided to take some of my credit time and head for the door early. I was so excited to be going home. All I could see was my couch and my blanket waiting on me. I was just about to turn into my complex when I realized that I needed to pick up my prescriptions from the pharmacy. A huge sigh followed and I kept the car moving forward.

When I got to the pharmacy... "Two prescriptions for Pyatt please." The man comes back to the window and says that he has one. I should have known right then that this trip was heading down hill. Have faith I thought. I called the names of the two drugs I had come to pick up and watched the intern rush off to figure out what was going on.

He came back to the window telling me one of my prescriptions is $145. Oh hell no. WHAT?! He goes on to explain that some insurance companies don't do this and that. No homeboy... I got good insurance. Let me call them. "Can you give me back my insurance card please so I can call them about this matter?" He asks me where the card is. This is the moment the match struck the side of the box and it began to heat up. "You all have my card!" Then he asked me if I was sure. This question infuriated me. Yes I understand you get some individuals in here that forget that there cards are in their wallets but I am POSITIVE you all have my card because I was hesitant leaving it and asked the other intern if she could take a copy of the card and not the actual card. Lesson learned!!! Anyway...

While they looked for the card, I called my insurance company. I went ahead and asked them to send me another card. I know they aren't going to find my card. While I've got the rep on the phone I ask her about the drug not being covered. She puts me on hold for a minute and then comes back to tell me that the pharmacy never called to check on any drugs for me AND yes the drugs are covered.

"Ummmm... excuse me!" By HIS grace I was still calm and I explained what the lady on the phone had just told me. Then about 3 people were in front of me explaining this and that. They assured me that they had called. They why are you charging me full price? They don't know. This is going on and that is going.

OK STOP!!! By now it was an hr into this adventure. I explained that I didn't care about their explanations. I wanted my drugs at my COVERED price and nothing else. I got up on my pedestal for a second and ranted about wanting to visit a competent pharmacy that knew what they were doing and could hold on to my documents. Then I got down off my horse. I was no longer interested in seeing these people (well known pharmacy). It was my vision that I would have been curled up on my couch by that time and I wasn't. I was more pissed than a wet cat.

Settling... Girl Please!!!

I think we all have our own vision of what an ideal relationship would be like; what qualities in a mate we would just love to have. I call it the list. Don't ask me how I feel about the list... we'd be here all day. Anway...

By the 3rd or 4th encounter with a person you know whether or not your dating partner fits with your vision. At this point in a relationship, many decide whether to pursue further or handout pink-slips. When someone doesn't fit the vision and you stay, some folks call this settling.

This topic comes up all the time. Here's my opinion... Unless he is beating you and/or down-right disrespectful, please stop saying you are settling. Some people argue... you know what you want and there is no need to keep it going if you know you can't live with this or that. Sure I guess... if you are really that picky, then keep it moving. But is it really a case of settling or are you simply realigning your expectation with reality?

When it comes down to it... folks are picky!! And I've been guilty of this myself. The older I get (thank goodness), the wiser I become. I realize I have been ridiculous in some of my past decisions about what qualities a man MUST possesses. Yes it is important to have standards but goodness when you start climbing the fence toward being shallow... slow your roll. LOL.

Think about it like this. Write down all the reasons a man would not want to date you. Be honest. I know it hurts picking out blemishes!!! Do it!! Would you date someone who did the annoying (yes they are annoying to the rest of the world) things you do? Looking at my wrap-sheet. Hell NO, I wouldn't. That doesn't mean I'm not a good catch and wouldn't be a fantastic girlfriend or wife (had to boost myself up there, LOL). Back to it... None of us are perfect. Everyone has their quirks. I think some people get caught up in he/she does this and that. You will have to overlook some things and so will he. It's called compromise, not settling.

I realize it isn't as simple as I'm presenting it here. I just think so many of us carelessly reject other's that could actually be suitable partners. I read somewhere that you should approach this situation like this. Make two lists. The first one should be of mandotory, non-negotiable qualities you are looking for in a mate. On the second list put the personal preferences. And NO, everything can't go on the first list. LOL.

I think I'm going to do this little exercise later today. Maybe I'll share... maybe I won't. We'll see!!! Give it a try.

Introducing the Allergist

I went to the allergist today. After signing about 11 pages (none of which I barely remember) I sat down and pretended as hard as I could that I wasn’t itching. After like 10 minutes of shaking my leg and fidgeting in my seat, I gave in, pulled my claws out and went to work. After a couple minutes of relief one lady started looking at me. Irritated at the entire situation I just wanted to yell at her to mind her business. I’M NOT DIRTY OR ASHY… something is going on. I sat for another 20 minutes trying to be more discrete about my itching problem.

“Miss Prat!” SIGH. They never get my name right.

I go back and they do the normal: blood pressure and weight. Then they take ya to the room where you WAIT again. I was ready to take a nap by the time the doctor came in. So doc is a tall, lanky, older man with some extreme bush action in the eyebrow area. The only reason I mentioned this was because I had to train my eyes during the first half of his visit not to look up at them. The hair on his head was thinning but not those eyebrows. Ok… back on track.

We talk for a bit and then he starts checking everything out. “Take a deep breath in for me”. I breathe in deep. “Ummm… take a deep breath in for me”. I did it again. “You’re not putting out”. I bust out laughing. Really, you say!!! Sometimes the bad girl just pops up out of no where. Back on track… they put me on the blow-out-as-many-candles-as-you-can-in-one-breath machine and after three attempts, just like that, I’m asthmatic. Can I say here that I was mad at the machine? With my birthday fast approaching I just imagined these were real candles on my favorite cake. I saw family and presents surrounding me. SMILE. I thought I would blow out all the dern candles and that would be it. NO. I was disappointed in myself. Can I try again please????!!!

After a lot more dialogue and questions galore I left the office with a handful of prescriptions, a few concerns, an appointment to get my thyroid checked and an appointment for a skin test. Oh yeah and some pretty good nasal spray; better than the one my PO gave me. Anyway… let’s back up. Why the thyroid check-up? I was getting so much instruction and information that I forgot to ask that question. I really just wanted to get out of there so I could get those drugs in my system. And hooray for small victories because they are dissolving as I type. So we'll see what happens. I just want to be itch-free.

Old McDonald Had A Farm

A House committee cleared a bill that will allow Georgia homeowners to have chickens, milk goats and rabbits - as long as the goal is to feed their families.

Really???

While the idea of having a coup of chickens to save on the rising prices of eggs sounds maybe a little intriguing to me, I think these people have lost their minds. If you want Old McDonald at the house you need to live in the country. All that noise and the smell... Am I missing something? I can just see this getting out of hand.

Will I wake up in the morning, take my coffee to the porch and find that my neighbors having slaughter day. The image of murdered chickens is not one I want to see from my doorstep. I prefer to save that work for Tyson or Clayton or whoever you get your chicken from.

And then the rooster... If you have hens, I imagine you are going to need at least one rooster to keep the hens happy and the process moving. Roosters crow!!!! I bought my alarm clock from Wally World (Wal-mart). I don't need any extra help waking up in the morning. I can see myself throwing something at this poor animal when he decides to proclaim his territory at some ungodly hour on Saturday morning. I thought I lived in a CITY.

Rep Bobby Franklin made the comment, "If Michelle Obama can grow food at the White House, then no Georgia family should be denied the right to grow their own food". Michelle doesn't have no chickens and goats running round the White House or did I miss that clip on the news. If you want to grow your tomatoes, lettuce, squash, etc... go for it. When they start talking about barnyard animals... NO.

DIY Car Maintenance

I took my car in for an oil change. I called a friend to come scoop me up and I said a prayer on the way out the door, "Lord, please let my car need nothing more than an oil change. Amen!". Three hours later I got the dreaded phone call. NOOOOOOO. You need this done and you need that done. If you don't get this done by this date, your CAR WILL DIE. How much do I have to give you today to save Sylvia's (my car) life? WHAT?! Can you repeat that number? Let me find the bus schedule!!

I ended up giving up quite a bit of my monthly party money on Sylvia and vowed to get the rest done when the next check comes along. Quick pout here: This month is my birthday... not hers!!! Okay, pouting over.

So I'm thinking here. Why don't I put on a garage suit, get under the hood and save some money? We are way past the days of "only-a-man-can-handle-what's-under-the-hood". More and more women are putting their regular car maintenance on their to-do lists.

I gotta say the whole idea intrigues me a bit. I'm a crafty person by nature. I have a whole list of little "put-together" projects. Granted this is probably one of the biggest projects I will ever take on, I'm ready. I've changed my lights and refilled my windshield wiper fluid. From what I've read I think I can add changing the cabin air filter and changing my oil to the list of things I can do. I don't plan on messing with the engine or anything like that. I don't want to blow up my baby. I can however, learn to change my fluids... that would save me loads. Vision... I could get an extra pair of shoes a month and still have some money to put in the savings account. (SMILING HARD!!!)

While I've done lots of reading on the subject online, I've decided to stop into my local B&N and grab a book on the subject matter. Next month... I'm on it. I've gotta put my girlie up a little though; at least when I'm under the hood. During a normal day I wash my hands like every hour because they just "feel dirty". I'm going to have to get dirty here. There is going to be a lot of grease involved but if it saves me some money here and there... let's do it. Vrooom vrooom!

Introducing our Newest Roller Coaster... The Date Drop

Why didn't they offer a course on dating in high school?!?!

I am getting myself back into the dating world after a long hiatus. Can I tell you it's utterly terrifying? It's like the feeling I get when I'm on a roller coaster. You stand in line, waiting your turn, anxious for the ride. Now while getting on a roller coaster doesn't slow some people down one bit, it goes a little bit different for me. From the second I realize I'm in the next group to go, my heart starts pounding. They strap you in and up you go. Click click click... you make your way to the crest.

Going uphill on a roller coaster is like talking on the phone for the first time with a potential... just torture. Reminders to breathe and to relax so you can enjoy the ride accompany both events. While some are raising their arms in anticipation, screaming with adrenaline... me, I'm sitting there wondering if I ever should have gotten my butt on the ride in the first place. Will I have a headache after this, will I upchuck all of my meal or will it be the best ride of my life??

Geez... why can't dating be simpler for me!!! Eventually I know I'll get on some ride and never want to get off. Until then for whatever the ride presents, I've got my Tylenol, Pepto and a glass of wine to get through. LOL.

Pruritus

Itch is an irritation in the skin that elicits the urge to scratch. I have the urge to dig like Fido up here. I have been digging into my skin for a whole day now. Apparently my body is not happy with something in my environment.

You know how you notice changes but you dismiss them until they really become a problem. I noticed about a month ago that my body was becoming a little extra itchy. It was mainly my face and I really noticed it after a night on the town. Everyone was downloading pictures from the night and how lovely... my face had red spots all on it out the blue. Didn't leave the house with them but by midnight I was broken out. Didn't think much of it. I thought maybe it was a heat rash and kept on moving with my life. Since then and looking back, I realize that I have been scratching more and more. Last night was the climax. I started getting a little itchy around 6pm and it only got worse from there. Around 3am I woke up in a fury… the itch monster would not let me sleep. I ended up tearing up my house looking for antihistamines. My place looks like a small tornado came through. It was just my luck that I had removed my drugs from the normal spot I keep them in. It was a hunt. I started pulling stuff out and just throwing them to the side til I found something… anything.

I am finally pumped with drugs and to be honest… they aren’t helping. I still feel like a million critters are crawling over my body. Called the allergist and when is my appointment? Thursday!!! Really? I wanted to ask them WTF am I supposed to do until then. Every two seconds I am digging my claws in some area of my body. That’s not cute.

So what is the culprit? Dry skin? NO. I grease up EVERY morning. They say the most common causes are stress and anxiety. My life is not that hectic. I've been STRESSED before and it's usually my hair that acts up and not my skin. Next... allergic reaction?? I don't know. God forbid I'm wigging out because of the carpet or some other element within my daily routine. SIGH. Time to pray... Lord, please don't let me be allergic to some food that I REALLY love. Amen.

Praise HIM in my New Shoes

I was sitting around thinking about a conversation a potential mate and I had one evening. Fred, a theology graduate, told me I worshipped the things that I had. Worshipped how? I don’t boast about what I have? I don’t claim to have much, if we are talking material things. I have always claimed to have family, friends and love in abundance over everything else in my life. What are you talking about? Like most fashionable women, I love shoes. I had purchased two pairs within the span of a month and a half (considering I’m a girl… not bad at all). Fred shared with me that he thought my buying shoes was taking away from my duties and responsibilities in serving the Lord. Side note: Most of the pumps I buy are for Sunday morning!! Anyway… The time I spent buying my shoes could have been spent in the church. I had not reached his level of maturity, as if replacing my worn out black pumps signified childishness. At this moment, I knew that either I had failed at showcasing the real me or that Fred needed glasses because he couldn’t see. I also realized at this moment that Fred and I would not make it. Anyone who knows me knows that I place nothing in my life above God. Everything that I have is because of HIM. I have always been taught that if you seek first the kingdom of God, all things will be provided according to his will. This doesn’t necessary mean materialistic items and in some cases doesn’t at all; however I’d like to think my shoes are a gift from God. I’m being funny here, but serious at the same time. I gave my life over to God a long time ago and HE has been abundant in his blessings. Everything that I own, inside and out (including my shoes), is because of HIM and I’m thankful for it. Maybe God doesn’t mind my feet looking fly every now and then, especially in HIS house. :-)