Settling... Girl Please!!!

I think we all have our own vision of what an ideal relationship would be like; what qualities in a mate we would just love to have. I call it the list. Don't ask me how I feel about the list... we'd be here all day. Anway...

By the 3rd or 4th encounter with a person you know whether or not your dating partner fits with your vision. At this point in a relationship, many decide whether to pursue further or handout pink-slips. When someone doesn't fit the vision and you stay, some folks call this settling.

This topic comes up all the time. Here's my opinion... Unless he is beating you and/or down-right disrespectful, please stop saying you are settling. Some people argue... you know what you want and there is no need to keep it going if you know you can't live with this or that. Sure I guess... if you are really that picky, then keep it moving. But is it really a case of settling or are you simply realigning your expectation with reality?

When it comes down to it... folks are picky!! And I've been guilty of this myself. The older I get (thank goodness), the wiser I become. I realize I have been ridiculous in some of my past decisions about what qualities a man MUST possesses. Yes it is important to have standards but goodness when you start climbing the fence toward being shallow... slow your roll. LOL.

Think about it like this. Write down all the reasons a man would not want to date you. Be honest. I know it hurts picking out blemishes!!! Do it!! Would you date someone who did the annoying (yes they are annoying to the rest of the world) things you do? Looking at my wrap-sheet. Hell NO, I wouldn't. That doesn't mean I'm not a good catch and wouldn't be a fantastic girlfriend or wife (had to boost myself up there, LOL). Back to it... None of us are perfect. Everyone has their quirks. I think some people get caught up in he/she does this and that. You will have to overlook some things and so will he. It's called compromise, not settling.

I realize it isn't as simple as I'm presenting it here. I just think so many of us carelessly reject other's that could actually be suitable partners. I read somewhere that you should approach this situation like this. Make two lists. The first one should be of mandotory, non-negotiable qualities you are looking for in a mate. On the second list put the personal preferences. And NO, everything can't go on the first list. LOL.

I think I'm going to do this little exercise later today. Maybe I'll share... maybe I won't. We'll see!!! Give it a try.